• p.n.c

the sun always rises in the morning

Dear friend,


I hope you haven’t forgotten me, it’s been a while since we’ve talked.

I came across a quote the other day, it said this: “But however we remember it––or choose to remember it––the past is the foundation that holds our lives in place. Without its support, we'd have nothing for guidance. We spend so much time focused on what lies ahead, when what has fallen behind is just as important. What defines us isn't where we're going, but where we've been. Although there are places and people we will never see again, and although we move on and let them go, they remain a part of who we are. There are things that will never change, things we will carry along with us always. But as we venture into the murky future, we must find our strength by learning to leave things behind.”

How does one exactly leave things behind? I wonder, is there just a moment in time where the human mind can’t comprehend any more deception, or does it happen in a moment where your threshold of suffering is broken?

Do we as a result

m o v e o n ?

Imagine feeling like you can’t breathe

and someone tells you to “move on, keep going, snap out of it.”

Imagine feeling guilty for not being able to “snap out of it.”

In a literal sense, there is always a light at the end of a dark tunnel. It can’t rain forever (unless you’re in Seattle, or Washington Forks) at some point a new day emerges. Full of hope, opportunity, promise. Have you ever considered that holding on to pain, frustrations, guilt has a direct impact on your current state of mind? If only it’d were so easy to move on. I know. But perhaps, letting go makes you a better person.

When I was a child I was so angry at my father for leaving, for walking out on my mom and I. I blamed myself for years. I felt inadequate and small. Every birthday, Christmas, I sat by the phone and waited. I was almost sure that he would call sometime. He was just incredibly busy, and had forgotten. I tried like hell to believe that. As an adult, I found myself begging God to heal the wounds that I had been covering with jagged bandaids for so long. I couldn’t keep carrying around the pain and frustration that led me to believe I was suffering from “daddy issues” and “abandonment issues.” The truth is holding on to that hurt actually pained more than letting go.

It was like playing “tug of war” and pulling on the rope till your hands burned so much you had no choice but to let go.

As a kid, my mom always reminded me that the sun always rises in the morning. At first— I thought, how simple. As an adult it has been one of the most prominent life-lessons. No matter how horrible our yesterday was, we have a choice to have a better tomorrow.

Friend, forgiveness is something we learn every day. However, letting go and moving on, that is where the art lies. So, love yourself a little harder every single day. Give yourself credit when you notice that what once caused you harm and was unbearable to think of, is now a distant memory. Forgive without counting on tomorrow, because tomorrow is never indicated.


I miss you, we’ll talk soon.


With all my love,

pnc



xx


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